Thank you for loving me wild

Hygieia (1901)

Gustav Klimt (1862-1918)

Destroyed by fire in 1945

Music pairing: JVKE - golden hour (version Francaise) (feat. blond)

1

Hey you,

Of course the first letter has to be for you.

You who changed me from the depth, called forth the person I’ve always wanted to be.

You who were special from the start.

And then suddenly, just as you had suddenly entered my life out of nowhere, we are nothing more than an ending.

My darling, can I even call you that?

In you I had seen all the bubbly swirls of love, passion filled to the brim, and longing, oh so much longing…

We were a movie, timestamped at the best and worst parts.

We were fresh peaches, bound to expire and rot.

We were bright yellow mustard flowers, blooming, beautiful, toxic.

I came here not to tell you of regrets, but to thank you, darling.

I’ve understood now that some people in life pass you by, fleeting, but their impact is enduring.

Thank you for teaching me all that I could be without meaning to. Thank you for letting me be wild, and loving me wild. Thank you for seeing the fire in me and telling me it’s okay to burn sometimes. You have taught me to love my body, treasure my flaws; taught me to appreciate pleasure, enjoy the moment.

Most of all, through the tears after, you have taught me how deep I love, how much I cared, and what kind of person I was in relationships; how much I could be wrong about myself (no matter how many times I tried to convince myself of the opposite), how I was just as shallow and stubborn as I had accused others of being.

In you I saw my ugliness, I saw what needed changing, and because of these changes I was able to stand alone. Happy. Alone and content, loving myself once again. And only then after, could I find the right person.

I am grateful to have had a taste of Hollywood. I am grateful to learn that the real world requires more than simple romance. I may always have a soft spot for you, but I know now it’s more than the touch and the face that matters. It’s not like the movies. There’s so much more to happily ever after.

Thank you, my darling. I was you once, and a small part of me will always be you, but I will and can choose better now. And I have chosen well.

From I can only wish you well